dudy's last day...

...di ufm tentunya... but the friendship will always there (baca: mal-mal terdekat, resto bermenu bebek dan juga event2 yang tentunya akan "menyibukkan" teman-temannya, hahahah...)

dude, gonna miz your bodo amat and curhat2 ga penting di tangga dan kafe m... kabur-kabur dikit ke asambador dan sesi2 ngecengin awi, hahahah... belom lagi ketololan kasus 3in1 yang bikin telat buka puasa, hahahah...
dude, siah, jangan di-delete foto aing yaw... u're gonna miz me so much lah dengan kegakpentingan gw, loncat2 di lift (belom pernah kan dude...hahahha) cuma gara-gara *tiiiit*.
huhuhu... huhuhu... ditunggu job2 spektanya ya ;)

take care, my friend...

plek-plekan sepaket

kemarenan berusaha untuk menyukai (baca:menerima) hal-hal di sekitar gw "sepaket".
tapi ternyata, gw belom se"dewasa" itu hingga bisa lulus dalam ujian "paket" tersebut. yang ada gw capek dan ngerasa gagal dalam ngedapetin apa yang gw inginkan…
(i'm not saying that i'm givin' up, still tryin' here...)

semalem, gw belajar dari satu barang, which is dvd a lot like love gw.
well, dari dvd itu, gue suka covernya, tapi gw ga suka print-an dalemnya.
gue tonton, gw ga terlalu suka ashton kutcher, tapi gw suka ketololan-ketololannya (dan juga pentongnya, hahaha...).
gw ga terlalu suka ceritanya, tapi gw menikmati sontrek-sontreknya (especially brighter than sunshine).
akhirnya, gw berdamai dengan diri gw...
dit, elo ga harus nerima plek-plek-an sepaket, selama masih ada hal-hal yang bisa membuat lo bertahan dan (lebih bagus lagi) tersenyum, kenapa tidak???
...
I never understood before I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore, What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me, What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

4 complete lyric, klik http://www.allsonglyrics.us/lyrics/38086/aqualung-brighter-than-sunshine-lyrics.html

i wish u enough...

i wish u enough sun to keep your attitude bright
i wish u enough rain to appreciate the sun more
i wish u enough happiness to keep your spirit alive
i wish u enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger
i wish u enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
i wish u enough loss to appreciate all that you possess
i wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye...

(dari fwd-an imel, so inspiring... tq ehses...)

the merriest meeting, ever!

uhm...
i will always love u-nya whitney houston, all by myself-nya celine dion, goodbye-nya air supply, end of the road-nya boyzIImen, i want it that way-nya bsb, sedih tak berujung-nya glenn, step by step-nya nkotb, begitu indah-nya padi, inikah cinta-nya m.e., to be with you-nya mr big, everything i do--i do it for you-nya bryan adams...

sure, they have one spectacular thing in common...
just wait, only on 94.7 ufm

ps.
pheew... it's a really winter cold here, and i just can't turn JC off... yeah baby ;)

everyday i love u...

...coz i believe that destiny
is out of our control (don't you know
that I do)
and you'll never live until you love
with all your heart and
soul...

it's a touch when i feel bad
it's a smile when i get
mad
all the little things i am
everyday i love you...

siang-siang gagal siesta di ruang siaran yang super duper dingin pas candra siaran, leyeh-leyeh bentar sambil mandangin jakarta dari lantai 33...
entah kenapa tiba-tiba gusi gw ngilu, ada kupu-kupu meronta di dalem perut gw, nafaspun berasa agak berat...
...
di luar sana, di tengah langit biru dan gumpalan awan putih kelabu,
ada bayangan mata raksasa muncul di alam imajinasi, menggantikan pemandangan gedung-gedung tinggi dan jalan raya...
sama seperti saat mata raksasa hera muncul di setiap scene saat hercules beraksi...
cuma bedanya, mata hera siap menerkam penuh dengan rasa benci,
sedangkan mata yang ini -- matanya -- mengalirkan rasa yang semakin ngebuat gw ngilu...
...
matanya...
caranya memandang...
...ngebuat ngilu skaligus merindu...

(lagu everyday i love u-nya ga beres-beres... gotta get out of here...before i fall over my feet)

pesan singkat...

(jakarta, sumpah... lagi keren banget mataharinya... dari pagi sampe sore ini...)

pesan singkat dari gw untuk seorang teman,

"smakin lo jaga hati lo, smakin payah hati lo..."

well... suddenly my mind travels way back to the moment, when i sat on the same chair as she sits now), wrote this posting
www.sparksinme.blogspot.com/2004/05/week-or-two-march-16-2k4.html
, and felt so fuckin' in love...

well my friend,
ga usah takut untuk masuk dalam permainan selama kita sadar dalam semua permainan--akan ada yang terlihat menang dan ada yang terlihat kalah...
padahal... itu semua cuma semata-mata olahan rasa...

embrace life, go for something that makes u smile, so when later on u break down and cry, it's all worth it... ;)

kangen... kangen...

...kangen jatuh cinta... hahaha, funneeh;p

(taken from sparksinme.blogspot.com--august 2k4)

have u ever... (3)
been in love, so in love with someone?

saking in love-nya, kamu yang gak pernah nglukis, tapi tiba-tiba bisa
nglukis saat kamu kebayang senyumnya dia...

saking in love-nya,
kamu yang gak puitis, tapi tiba-tiba secara otomatis terangkai kata-kata indah
saat kamu inget dia...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang lagi sakit,
tiba-tiba ngerasa sehat karena ditelfon dia...

saking in love-nya,
kamu yang rakus, tiba-tiba makan kerasa ga enak karena tau dia belum
makan...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang super hemat, tiba-tiba
ngabisin uang stengah juta cuma buat beli parfum dia (biar bisa nyium baunya dia
kapanpun kamu mau)

saking in love-nya, kamu yang gila tidur,
tiba-tiba kebangun jam stengah lima subuh tanpa alarm karena inget dia harus
bangun subuh...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang selalu ceria,
tiba-tiba jadi sedih karena tau dia lagi gak enak
hati...

...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang workaholic,
tiba-tiba gak bisa ngerjain apapun karena kangen dia...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang workaholic, tiba-tiba selalu liat jam (udah jam 5 belom sih?) supaya bisa cepet-cepet ketemuan sama dia...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang workaholic, tiba-tiba mampu berbohong sakit ke kantor supaya bisa jalan-jalan seharian sama dia...

...

saking in love-nya, kamu yang cinta banget sama tempat kamu tinggal, tiba-tiba berpikiran pindah kota cuma untuk bisa lupain dia...

...

saking in love-nya, kamu ga bisa apa-apa kecuali mikirin, apa jadinya kamu tanpa dia... (egois kah? so what???)

...
...
...

have u ever... been in love, so in love with someone that much?

...

saya belum... (saking in love-nya, saya yang biasanya cuma suka ngeles, tiba-tiba bohong sebohong-bohongnya...)

.:huaaa... gue pernah jatuh cinta edan banget ya? weleh weleh, aneh... hahahaha...:.

lazy week of moi...

tempat favorit: kamar

kegiatan favorit: nonton dvd, nulis

makanan favorit: roti boy

minuman: peppermint green tea

lagu favorit: play list nangis darah gue

lagu yang paling dibenci:
"...can we just love again kiss again
i just wanna be us again
there's no reason to pretend
it's evident that i'm lost without your love
and if we just hold each other close again
we can make it to the very end..."
especially pas gue yang nyanyiiii... ancuuuurr...

booo... tolong deh!

ps. ga sabar pgn kasih liat cesa my 5 minutes story and lookin' forward for the weekend... huaaa... senang!

whatta wiken ;)

whatta weekend!
having this presentation meeting, went really good, unless for the "ups-usp" (baca: ups... unique selling program? maksudnya???)
yang ngebuat gw seneng banget, the cltenseven line "go 4 something that makes u smile" jadi premise happy shiny u! Yippy!!!
disambung dengan berkumpulnya "jakclub" di rumahkuw (baca: orangtuakuw), siap-siap saur on the road.
@ 2 am, we were ready to cruise the jakarta empty road ngebagi-bagiin kotak wangi yang membuat kita smakin ga sabar untuk saur time di sederhana!
(i got d chance to drive one of my fave car... tq ditce ;p maaf lo dibawa ngebut)
tiduuuur... sampe siang... ngajar--gaji buta...
witnessed one of the amazing nature force, bayangkan, angin besar, hujan deras, petir menggelegar dan matahari sore yang bersinar dengan indahnya dalam waktu yang bersamaan (kata sogi disaster, kata gw... keajaiban!)
buka puasa di rumah bareng the jakclub, lanjut lagi dan lagi dan lagi...
diakhiri dengan smart conversation about scenario writing (thx 2 cesa 4 the scenarios and books...)@ roti bakar edi yg kata pinko "gw baru sadar betapa besarnya pengaruh edi di keriaan malem minggu jakarta", ternyata ujung-ujungnya "garing" juga... (gosh, 12 months in your mom womb, wow!)--masmy, dapet tandingan lagi tuh, garing2an ;p
and today, it's grande time... janjian sama cheche (dapet gelang ungu 30 jaar north sea jazz & gem-bracelet... kewl...), ketemu mardjo si mc kuonduang (;p) dan ada si bintang sinetron "h" yang mmm... tipe gw banggeeet, but, un4tunately doesn't give a damn with girlzzz....
chit chat over starbucks and marlboro lights menthol...
wow cheche.. u lucky bi***... envy u!

aaahhh... ga sabar nunggu hari h bervintage-hunt di jalan beo!

cast in appearance order:
ufm crew-badrun-adit-early-pinko-dian-benju-addry-zessi-jakarta empty road & d ppl-sederhana crew-papa-k'angel-interstudi crew-k'elke-andrew-sogi-seafod bca crew-cesa-brit-roti bakar edi crew & manusia2 gaya jakarta-mama-daniel-mbak nah-hasanah-saskia-cheche-mardjo-ine-si"h"-;)

spring note...

i've had a really beautyfoolish autumn, i had enuff with the never-ending-freezy-winter.
it's time for my spring to come ;)

i could wait in summer, wait in winter wait in spring or even fall
but if i wait in summer wait in winter, wait in spring or even fall
u might say no! i know…
still i wait in summer wait in winter wait in spring and even fall
it might be so…i know...
(wait in summer-addis black widow)

meet my new "spring note" daily journal;)

dicari, laki-laki yang bisa membuat gw...

yup, it's gonna be the topic for siaran pagi besok...
gara-gara gw "ngegangguin" seseorang yang sering membuat gw ketawa (emang gw hobi ketawa juga siiih).
gw bilang ke dia, "ati2 ah, jangan kebanyakan bikin gw ketawa, gw suka jatuh cinta sama laki-laki yang bisa bikin gw ketawa looooh..."

well, i didn't mean it tho', but it made me thinking.
yup, gw sering jatuh cinta dengan laki-laki yang bisa membuat gw ketawa... bukan karena dia jago ngelucu ato apa (dan bukan seorang pelawak loh). tapi dengan gw ketawa, gw ngerasa nyaman, gw ngerasa beban yang ada di dalem hati gw keangkat dan jadi ringan (walopun cuma saat itu).

another survey ke perempuan-perempuan u-fm, rata-rata mereka bilang "...yang bisa membuat mereka nyaman..."
ok, nyaman, tapi nyaman yang kayak apa?
(that's why besok kita akan bilang, "jawaban nyaman tidak diterima!")

hm... sebelum buka, gw menambah line untuk pernyataan di atas:
gw mencari laki-laki yang bisa membuat gw tertawa dan menangis (bahagia)...

happy buka, sayangkuh ;)

bukan buat siapa-siapa, percaya deh!

what are u up to?
u'r acting so kind for a reason called don’t wanna lose what we have.
then i've said how could u, for so many times, for exactly no reason at all.
how could u for what?
for being so nice? for being not taking any advantage from me? for not being so rude so i would never hurt?

then i told myself...
how could i be so wrong all this time?
there u r, being nice as nice as u can be to many. being sweet as sweet as u can be to many. being lovely as lovely as u can be to many.
here i am, give'em all wrong meaning.
i thought the nice, sweet, lovely things went only for me. coz i was kinda hoping that i was something special, something that so essential to your life that u couldn't bare to breathe if i didn't exist.

u’r so kind, never wanting to use me in any ways... on the other hand, i wish u did, take all the advantages you can.
use my feeling to feel you, use my lips to kiss u, use my longing to call you for hours, use my endless energy to accompany you in your lonely nights, use my eyes to cry for you, use my heart to stay in love with you... use my being as your possession.

then-- u won't lose me forever...

but hey, like i said before, u r a really kind person who would never do such bad thing even been asked and begged.

your kindness, my sadness...

(based on lokananta-cikajang conversation and a li'l bit saturday nite atmosphere with ariegato, jumboz & kemi... aih, teman biasa & menua bersama really rock my satnite;) tq guys....)

chris tart

if u can't be with d 1 u love, love d 1 u'r with...
(chris tart, ost. forces of nature)

huaaaaa!!!

i hate your guts!
i hate your sort of doing!
i hate the way you ignore me!
i hate the way you smile back and make believe that's nothing's changed!
i hate the idea of spending my time thinking about you!
i hate the fact that i just need the well-existence of you!

(hate - brunz&co)

(saturday morning, cuppa coffee and a really nice thought i have in mind!!!)

kedinginan!

gw sakit!
sakit badan, pengen muntah, pusing2 mulu, mual, kedinginan!

gw sakit!
sakit badannya sih ngefek 40%, tapi sakit jiwanya itu loh... tetep ngacoin idup gw lebih dari100%!

huah, orang sakit kok deketnya sama yang sakit juga...
makin sakit (tapi ga berasa aneh, at least gw ga belaga sehat!!!)

ah... pulang ah...

peppermint day!

this thursday turns out great...
only over a conversation @ seafood bca with sogi & early and a quick but wow tour to circle k cikajang.
u know what... it happens to be the biggest circle k in indonesia (so far). they have the cafe, ladies & men's room (separately) and of course, food and beverages that kinda rare to find!
they even have whizkaz... hehehhe...

dan serunya, dii circle k kita menemukan peppermint green tea dan starbucks peppermint mocha!
huaaa... hihihihi...

so i decided, tiap tanggal 6 stiap bulannya, it's a peppermint day ;)

wow... friends... the best pain-killer!

tipis!

(another stair-club conversation beberapa hari sblm puasa)

Hm...
ceritanya teman gw, si MM, lagi curhat nih tentang kerjaannya.
dia ngerasa kok gini-gini aja, malah berasa "gerah" dengan lingkungan kerjanya.
yang ada, dia berencana mau cari-cari kerja baru taun depan.
lain lagi dengan si PG, dia emang udah menjalani beberapa weekend interview dan malah sudah ada jadwal psikotest.
kalo mau diliat-liat sih, cv PG ini emang rame banget. malah dia punya koleksi kartu nama dirinya dengan desain dan kantor plus jabatan yang berbeda-beda.
Sedangkan gw, masih berusaha mensupport teman-temankuw itu supaya mau sabar dan ngurungin niatnya untuk cabut!
…
umur, ga beda jauh.
skill, ya... beda-beda tipis lah...
koneksi dan relasi, ga kalah!

tapi kok gw dalam jarak waktu yang lama ini, kerjaan formal cuma, uhm... tiga!
dimulai dengan jadi retail assistant di salah satu toko buku international, praktisi radio dan praktisi radio lagi (beda station aja).
yah, kalo mau disatuin sama gw sbg free-lancer sih... HAH? cuma nambah 2? (remember, me as scriptwriter di salah satu acara musik tv cable indonesia dan kerjaan 10 hari di salah satu event jazz seru internasional).

aduhhh... kok gw jadi ngerasa bego banget ya?

ketika gw bilang ke MM dan PG, mereka dengan baik hatinya bilang, kalo gw adalah tipe orang yang sabar... setia...

malah sambil ketawa mereka bilang, "yahh.. liat diri lo aja, dalam hubungan cinta aja, mau hubungannya udah beres ato udah ga jelas arahnya kemana, elo masih bertahan kan? hoping that a miraculous miracle happens and turns everything just as u wish?"

glek... kok jadi ngomongin cinta?

sambil nyeruput hazelnut latte dan ngisep marlboro menthol light, gw nyengir sendiri...

mereka nanya, "nyengir opo to, mbak?"

gw jawab, "gw baru sadar, ga di kerjaan, ga di urusan cinta, gw bukannya sabar ato setia... tapi gw takut nyoba yang baru aja..."

setia/penakut... tipis!!!

forgive & forget

if you'll forgive me my ferocity, i won't forget your sweetness.
pull down the night, lay it before me.
satisfy my head with curses.

forgive and forget... forgive and forget... forgive and forget...
(blondie - forgive & forget)

maafin ya...
banyak salah nih ;)
moga-moga bulan penuh berkah ini bisa membawa kita ke hidup yang lebih baik dan kebahagiaan yang kita nanti akan cepat mendatangi dan terus abadi... amin!

chava & christina maria

tengo razones pera buscarte
i have reasons to look for you.

tengo necesidad de verte de oír te de hablar te
i have the needs to see you, to hear you, to talk to you.

tengo razones para e esperarte
porque no creo que alla en el mundo nadie más a quien ame
i have reasons to wait for you because i don't believe there's anyone in the world i can love.

tengo razones razones de sobra
para pedirle el viento que vuelvas a que seas como una sombra
i have reasons, more than enough reasons, to ask the wind to return you even as a shadow.

tengo razones para no quererte olvidar
por que el trosito de felicidad fuiste tu quien me lo dio a probar
i have reasons to not want to forget you, because the little piece of happiness it was you who gave it to me.
(bebe-razones)
(sweetsadness @ my purplipink room, sunday night... krik krik krik...)